One Year
9:10 PM
Recently purchased a one year subscription of Bear Blog. I could now publish my posts for the whole world to see. Exciting and anxiety inducing.
Maybe this is my way of challenging to try new things. To start something, even if its meaningless to my friends and society. I expect that some may read this and think, great, another newbie blogger again, and in time he'll be creating meta posts about how bearblog save them, or how great blogging is.
Maybe this is another frivolous purchase again. For convincing myself that I should buy the subscription to try and learn new things. And maybe have some feedback for other people with some luck (but betting it will just drown in the recents' tab). Its another purchase for the ego, that this time, it will be different. Unlike the purchase you previously had on the Guitar, macbook air, steam deck, Claude annual subscription - all which are sitting now collecting dust, the habit didn't stick. All in the name of self-improvement and starting a new hobby. Who knows, maybe this time around, it will land.
Its just all tiresome. But I have to try. Because if I don't try, nothing will change in my habits. It will just continue. The random noise. Reddit, Youtube deep dives. Shallow knowledge on various disciplines. Its pretty daunting how much time it passed to struggle with the same pattern all these years, and looking back it seems that nothing changed in yourself, but everything else did. I don't know.
I am writing this to myself, this little imprint. Maybe someday when reading again, I hope that things moved for the better. 9:40 PM